punacceptable:

*grabs my own ass* nice

nakedly:

you are not fat
you have fat 
you also have fingernails 
you are not fingernail 

hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

vardaesque:

seahchel:

vardaesque:

whorville:

You finger yourself??? Disgusting. Those fingers should be turning pages of the holy bible

gotta get em wet before you turn the pages tho

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

this is going to be the text post that sends me straight to hell isnt it

the-winchester-initiative:

posthumous-mcdouble:

Hypothesis: if women are worse at parking, it’s only because they’ve been lied to about what eight inches is their entire lives

image

(Source: collectiveassbutts)

phatticuss:

cumcream:

cumcream:

What did the cat say to the dog?

cats don’t talk

image

flewor:

i would so go on a walk with you

(Source: flewor)

Let's make love.

charisseg4y:

I don’t want you to just fuck me. Anyone can fuck, but it takes real lovers, people who are in love to really make love to each other. I don’t want you to fuck me, when people fuck it’s nothing special. Fucking is just two people getting rid of their sexual frustration and it is usually…